you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
