Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
