The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
