Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
