Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
