Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
That was an excessively violent trivia night
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
