my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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