is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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