Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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