Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
