So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
