Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
