and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
