after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she pinky promised me she was 18
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
