There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
