Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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