We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
thus making me awesome and them whores
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
