i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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