So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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