I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
