yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
