I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
