I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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