How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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