Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
