I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
