puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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