You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
