I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
