I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
