i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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