I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
