May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
