so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
