my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
