I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
