i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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