Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
