Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
