your thong is hanging out like whoa
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
