all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
