dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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