I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
