I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
