She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
