That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
