Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
