Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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