Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
