two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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