mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
