I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So many bounce houses so little time
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
